Enjoy the Merritts of Sleep

You love your child and want what's best for them.
You are a wonderful parent.

You have MERIT.

Sleep has many MERITS.

MERIT: being good, worthy, deserving of good things.

MERITS: advantages, benefits, good parts

I help tired parents support their children in building sustainable sleep habits so that everyone in the family can get the sleep they need and the rest they deserve.

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Hi, I’m Sammy Merritt

I'm a counselling psychologist with a certification as a certified pediatric sleep consultant & mama to two wildflowers.

Science tells us that sleep has so many benefits for our mental and physical health, and issues can come when we’re not sleeping enough. Everyone talks about how having a baby means you’ll lose sleep, but not everyone talks about how to change that.

Did you know there are ways to support your baby, toddler, or child in learning sustainable sleep habits that allow you

to attune to them and respond when they need you? This is where I come in! As a psychologist certified in pediatric

sleep, I offer holistic and individualized support that looks at all aspects of a child’s sleep, is steeped in evidence-based information, encourages you to be responsive to your

child, is supportive of attachment and mental health,

and, most importantly, is based on what fits for you.

Knowing how important sleep is and having dealt with significant sleep deprivation with my first baby, I am passionate about helping families get more sleep, starting with their little ones. I do not wish the sleepless nights I had on anyone. I want you to be able to enjoy time with your babies - and being rested can go a long way in making that happen. I can support you in getting more rest and receiving the Merritts (the benefits) of Sleep.

Please be aware I only provide support to people living in Alberta, as that is a requirement of my psychology license.

I offer free 15 minute calls for you to get to know me and how I work, and decide if I am a fit for you. Please check out my Sleep Support page to see the support options I offer and find my clinic's contact information to book a call with me. I can’t wait to hear from you!

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SLEEP ISSUES
I ADDRESS

Assisting the child to sleep when it feels unsustainable for parents
Bedtime struggles
Night wakings
Short or non-existent naps
Early morning wakings
Nightmares

I will never stop talking about this. Here’s why ⬇️

Oral function can have a big impact on sleep! Proper nasal breathing allows you to move air effectively into your lungs while also filtering out germs. When the mouth is closed and the tongue is at proper rest posture, it sits on the roof of the mouth. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is key for rest, including restorative sleep. If the mouth is open for breathing, the tongue hangs down and the sympathetic nervous system is activated, which is our fight or flight system. This can make prevent sleep from being as restorative as it’s supposed to be. The tongue also shapes the palette, which is key for ongoing facial and dental development.

What I modelled in this reel is gently closing the mouth by pushing up on the muscle space on the jaw behind the chin bone. If your child has their mouth open while asleep, you can try this. It doesn’t automatically get the tongue into proper resting posture, but it does encourage nasal breathing.

If you need support in this area, check out @airways.myo and @infant.feeding.specialist!

If oral function issues are identified, treatment can be done (at any age, including adults!). Airway-focused professionals such as ENTs, dentists, orthodontists, and myofunctional therapists are some of the people who can help. Please talk to your doctor and dentist if you are concerned. @airwaycircle has a directory for providers if you are in need of a starting place.

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice and I am not a medical professional nor an expert in this area.

For research on this topic:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6390887/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6070065/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8306407/
https://bmcpediatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12887-022-03559-w
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

If I could back 7 years ago, I would have so much love to give this version of me. I’m crying now just thinking about her and wish I could hug her! She brought me here to this work and I’m so thankful to be able to support families.

Comment to tell me what you would tell to your first-time postpartum self – even if you’re still in that season. Let’s support and inspire each other!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Hi & welcome 👋🏻 I’m Sammy Merritt of @themerrittsofsleep. As a psychologist certified in pediatric sleep, I’m thrilled to be able to offer therapeutic sleep support to families in Alberta (generally covered by extended healthcare benefits!) and to offer pediatric sleep tips for free to anyone here online.

Here’s a little more about this account:
✨ I aim to provide information on baby, toddler, and big kid sleep that is evidence-based.
✨ I share about responsive sleep training (no CIO here) that prioritizes your connection with your child
✨ The focus is on you tuning in to your child at sleep time here - not following rigid “rules.”
✨ Snuggle naps and babywearing are beloved
✨ Your mental health is a top priority here
✨ Overall I want you to do what works for your family for sleep without judgment. I hope you feel that in this space

I value your relationships with your kids & know we all need sleep. I believe we can get it in hands-on ways that are tuned in to our children’s needs.

➡️ Follow along for psychology-informed pediatric sleep tips

❓If you have any questions about my work or me, ask away 🥰

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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

The how to & why it works ⤵️

One of the keys to helping our children regulate their emotions, whether they are upset about a loving boundary like changing sleep habits or having big feelings about something else, is regulating ourselves. If we are calm, they can borrow our calm and that can help them.

One way that can help with calming ourselves down is the ✨ physiological sigh ✨

Here’s how to do it:
😮‍💨 Two inhales through the nose (breathe first, pause, and take a second short inhale) and an exhale through the mouth that is long and slow and sounds like a loud sigh.

Here’s why it works:
The physiological sight activates the vagus nerve, which is a key component of our parasympathetic nervous system (for “rest and digest” in our bodies), and can help remove CO2 from your body, which can help slow your heart rate and reduce stress.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36630953/
https://psychsolutions.ca/the-science-of-physiological-sigh-insights-from-huberman-lab/

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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s why I do this ⏬

To answer the question of how to improve a child’s sleep, it’s not just about whether they fall asleep independently or not. Sleep timing, routines, environment, child’s temperament, oral function, and other factors all come into play. I ask my clients about all of them, and we work to put all the puzzle pieces together to get their little ones sleeping better. And sometimes just focusing on independent sleep doesn’t actually solve sleep issues. So you’re unlikely to get a simple answer from me when you ask how to get your child sleeping better - sorry not sorry 😅

I want you to get the answers you need, and sometimes that takes troubleshooting and time. But I am hopeful we’ll get there!

And if you’re not a client of mine but you still want those answers, hit FOLLOW for lots of strategies you can incorporate – starting today!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Do you think sleep deprivation is a normal part of parenthood?

When I hear parents say they haven’t slept through the night in months, or even years, my heart breaks for them and for their child.

While I can appreciate sharing sleep struggles as a way to let other parents know they’re not alone (and I do this too!), suggesting ongoing sleep deprivation is normal is not setting parents up for success.

Sleep deprivation is not a badge of honor. If your child and you are not sleeping well for months on end, this can have negative impacts on physical health, mental health, and/or child development.

Are night wakings common in the early years of a child’s life? Yes, absolutely (although the frequency generally decreases with age). Does that mean you can’t do anything to change that? No. Building sustainable sleep habits can happen any time! (This is referring to behavioral sleep concerns, not medical concerns that inhibit sleep.)

So rather than normalize sleep deprivation, I want to normalize supporting each other, which for me includes empowering parents with knowledge to make changes to get more sleep if they want to.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s what I mean by this tip: watching the clock means following wake windows or clock times for sleep and watching the baby means monitoring if your little one seems tired or not and putting them down for sleep based on that.

Wake windows are not evidence-based and timing may vary from day to day, as your baby is not a robot. But the variance is unlikely to be huge. They will likely need to sleep around the wake times each day (so if they have 3 hour wake windows, for example, they won’t all of a sudden need a 2 hour wake window unless they’re sick or something else is going on).

If you notice your baby is showing tired signs but there is still time left in the wake window, an idea I often recommend is to try to get as close as possible to the end of the wake window, but then also follow their lead if they seem in need of sleep. You may find that following their tired signs (having one eye on the baby) yields good naps and night sleep or you may find they wake early or often due to being undertired. That can take a bit of experimenting, as it can depend on the baby.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s how night weaning and sleep training differ:

💤 Sleep training is focused on a child learning to falling asleep independently (as in, on their own – where parents can offer comfort, but not put the child all the way to sleep), and going back to sleep in the night if they have no needs to be met.

When a child is truly hungry, feeds are needs. Your child may fall asleep on their own at bedtime, but still wake up for feeds in the night. A hungry baby will always need to feed before they can go back to sleep.

🍼 Night weaning is parental intervention to end night feeds for a baby, which includes moving calories from night to day.

Some families choose to work on night weaning while they are already making changes to sleep through sleep training, but I generally recommend waiting until independent sleep at bedtime is mastered before dropping night feeds anyways (and certainly at least separating feeding from sleep at bedtime to help). If a baby is younger than 6-9 months, there are almost always feeds that remain once a baby is sleep trained.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Can we have the best of both worlds? Yes we can!

Sometimes baby sleep gets presented as all or nothing – that you can only contact sleep (holding them, babywearing, or bedsharing) OR have a baby sleep independently. I rarely find that is the case for babies who are independent sleepers. Even really independent sleepers who thrive on space can still handle a contact nap sometimes, especially on the last nap of the day when on 3 or more naps, and some still prefer it at any time.

I loved babywearing naps when my littles were babies, and I wish I still could!

Rather than paint things as black and white, let’s leave room for flexibility within habits – including sleep. You can have both crib sleep & contact sleep! I hope you can find a balance that works for you.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Have you ever wondered seemingly small things can feel SO upsetting when you’re tired?

Sleep deprivation makes it harder for us to regulate our emotions – AKA we can feel more upset, angry, irritable, impatient, and/or overwhelmed if we haven’t slept well. And babies and kids – while very cute – can definitely impact our mood.

😡 Research shows sleep deprivation can cause increased activity in the amygdala, which is the area of the brain responsible for emotional processing. If the amygdala is too activated, this can mean the person’s system is too focused on survival (e.g., being in fight, flight, or freeze), and not enough on thinking through their emotional responses. This can lead to more emotional dysregulation.

😴 In contrast, sleep provides your brain with the space it needs to prepare for regulating emotions and being around people. If you imagine being a calm, patient, regulated, and understanding parent, getting sleep can help you be the parent you want to be.

Dealing with sleep loss feels hard because it is hard. Know that you’re not alone.

👋🏻 And if you need help getting sleep more consistently, hit the FOLLOW button to get baby & kid sleep tips from yours truly – a psychologist certified in pediatric sleep.

For more on sleep and mood, check out this research:
https://www.cell.com/fulltext/S0960-9822(07)01783-6
https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4614-9087-6
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4286245/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4286245/
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s what I mean ⤵️

There are many examples of feeling both joy and grief in parenting – often at the same time ❤️‍🩹

Parenting is a constant journey of changing, learning, and adjusting. Everything is a season, for better and for worse. Here are some examples:

✨ You can be thankful your baby is sleeping in their crib AND miss snuggling them while they slept.
✨ You can laugh while your toddler is delightfully silly AND miss their little baby rolls.
✨ You can find pregnancy miserable AND be thankful to be carrying a life.
✨ You can enjoy sleeping through the night again AND miss the quiet snuggles and sweetness of the night feeds.
✨ You can be sure you are done having kids AND sad to know you won’t have another.
✨ You can be glad to be going back to paid work AND miss being with your babies.
✨ You can be relieved to have your body back AND miss breastfeeding.

You don’t need to choose how you feel. You can have multiple feelings at once.

🗣️ Has there been a time you have felt both grief and joy as a parent? Feel free to share below.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

What if, instead of imposing a belief or idea, we ask parents what they think and feel about handling sleep, and give options for what to do if they ask?

I am all for families doing whatever works for them when it comes to sleep. AND I also see this kind of advice online all the time, as if co-sleeping or sleep training are the only option for families. (Especially in Facebook groups. Why are people so opinionated there?)

Rather than assuming what worked for one family could work for another, why don’t we ask questions? Maybe they don’t want to cosleep. Maybe they are open to it but want more information on safety. Maybe they would like to learn about building independent sleep skills (AKA sleep training). Maybe they don’t want to sleep train.

There are so many options to improve sleep, and what’s most important to me is that families do what works for them. Let’s do away with unsolicited advice in 2025 and be curious and support each other instead.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting #cosleeping #bedsharing

On the idea of sleep training not working ⬇️

A key to sleep training is knowing your baby’s temperament and using a sleep training method that fits for them.

Temperament, to borrow a phrase from @helpingfamiliesthrive, is the “flavor” a child comes into the world with. This “flavor” tends to be stable over their lifetime. Predominant temperament types are easy (easygoing), slow to warm (cautious, shy), difficult (fussy, unpredictable), and a combination (a mix of the 3 types).

When I hear parents say sleep training “didn’t work” (where the baby could not fall asleep independently), I often find a mismatch between the baby’s temperament and the chosen sleep training method. Trying to fit a baby into a method that is too hands-off, or sometimes even too hands-on, just leads to a ton of crying for the baby and frustrated parents. This isn’t to say a good match will mean the baby won’t cry – crying is communication and is a baby expressing their feelings. But it is to say that excessive crying for multiple nights is not typical of a successful sleep training process.

✨ Tune into your baby to figure out what works for them ✨

And if you need help, that’s where I come in 👋🏻

Hit that FOLLOW button for more tips on navigating your child’s sleep while being mindful of their temperament and your attachment with them.

https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/temperament-and-your-baby
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

What do I mean by sleep training? Read on to find out.

“Sleep training” is a behavioral intervention in how parents respond to their child’s crying to support their baby in falling asleep independently. Parents are changing their response and being consistent in this new response, as in creating new and loving boundaries around sleep, while also tuning into their child and what they need. The child can express any feelings they have to this change, and the parent can validate their feelings about these changes.

Sleep training methods vary in how responsive they are – from super hands on where the adult is with the child every step of the way (lots of co-regulation) to less hands on where the child has more space to self-regulate. I consider more than 20 sleep training methods when I work with families, choosing what seems to fit best for the baby’s temperament, the parent’s preferences, and the family’s goals.

And if sleep training’s not for you, that’s totally okay! I believe every family should do what works for them, including when it comes to their children’s sleep.

P.S. The irony of the saying “I sleep like a baby” is never lost on me. Babies wake up. They’re supposed to! And we can support them if they need our help. Yes, sleep trained babies who fall asleep on their own will still call for you if they need help – whether that’s feeding, diaper change, a snuggle, or whatever else they need.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Screenshot to see what word you get for 2025.

In parenting, including in navigating child sleep, being intentional is essential. Rather than a resolution, I invite you to choose an intention for this year where you focus on cultivating that in yourself and in your parenting. Here are some ideas.

Warmly,
@themerrittsofsleep
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s my message to you that I wish I had when my babies were actual babies.

Whether you decide to prioritize sleep, memories, or a mix of both this holiday season, I am cheering you on and hoping for joy, peace, hope, and love for you. Happy Holidays!

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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Does your child crying feel harder to handle when you’re with others and/or away from home? If so, the reminders in this reel are for you! COMMENT to let me know which one felt most helpful.

The change in routine, the unfamiliar environment, and the excitement and overstimulation of all the holiday things can all create a bit of a perfect storm that can lead to more emotional dysregulation for children (and adults too). More emotional dysregulation often means more crying.

Our children crying activates our sympathetic nervous systems, which can put us into “fight or flight” mode. For better or for worse, research has found children crying is most distressing to their parents. So it’s hard for the parents, but may not be as bothersome to others around. And if they are upset, that’s a them problem – not a you problem! They can do what they need to do to regulate themselves while your child expresses their emotions.

The crying can be a unique challenge when navigating holiday gatherings, because of the expectations to be there and present, hearing other’s opinions, what’s happening versus how you envisioned events going, and that you’re just trying to get through the special times well.

Others may have opinions on your child’s crying, such as why they are crying and how they think you should respond. But that is their opinion - it is not something you need to hear if it doesn’t fit for you. Boundaries can be very helpful here (stay tuned for a post on that!).

Know that this is a season, it will pass, and you and your little one can get through it together!

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14675800/ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnins.2013.00176/full
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Swipe for tips on navigating your little one’s sleep while travelling ➡️

Travel can mean lot of things, from new places to new people, all of which can throw off sleep – particularly for little ones who haven’t had as much practice adjusting to change as adults have. So preparing for navigating sleep when you’re away can help a lot with mitigating some of these challenges.

Re-creating the sleep environment as much as possible is something I like to do first when arriving at a new destination. Often little ones are tired from travel days, so it allows bed to happen as soon as it needs to. Ways to blackout the room include contractor garbage bags, suction cup curtains, or @slumberpod.

When you get home from your trip, jump right back into your child’s typical sleep timing and habits as quickly as you can. Some families decide sleep “rules” go out the window while travelling, like bedsharing in a hotel when they don’t at home, and little ones are capable of understanding there are different rules at home and away. Consistency is the key there in re-establishing sustainable sleep habits!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

How to make this happen ⬇️

In heterosexual couples, often moms are the default parent to handle night wakings - even if babies are bottle-fed. The argument in support of this I hear most often is that the dad is going to work outside of the home and needs sleep. Even when a mom is staying home, she is also working during the day and needs sleep. Parenting is work!

In addition to helping the mom and sharing the load (which can really benefit marriages/relationships), the dad helping overnight can help with his own bond with the baby - giving them extra special time together.

If this is a new concept for your family, and you are the dad, offer! If you are the mom, asking your partner for help overnight and offering some ways to make it work could help. Your partner may be more willing than you know!

Here are some ways to share the load overnight:
✨ Handling the night in shifts, like one parent handling the baby until 1am and the other parent taking over after that.
✨ Taking turns, where one parent handles some nights and the other parent handles other nights.
✨ Dad taking nights on the weekends when he’s not going to work the next day.
✨ For breastfed babies who won’t take a bottle, the dad can handle some or all of the non-feeding wakings.

If the dad cannot help overnight, he can still help with prep for the night - such as setting up a feeding station the mom can use, ensuring all feeding supplies like bottles are clean and ready, and ensuring there are clean diapers available if a change is needed in the middle of the night.

(Yes, I realize some jobs outside the home require alertness for safety and sleep is an imperative - so what I’m saying would not necessarily apply there.)
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

If your kid does not like bedtime, tips for stalling incoming ⤵️

Boundaries are limits you set for your kids, helping them know what’s okay and not okay for them to do. For example: Yes, they can have a drink of water before bed – that’s okay. No, they cannot have 74 drinks of water – that’s not okay.

There are a few keys to boundaries with kids:
✨ Set them in advance. Tell kids what is okay and not okay before the actual event. Prepare kids for the expectations at bedtime and what will happen if those are not met.
✨ Follow through. If you said something would happen, make it happen. For example, if you said they if they do not choose a book, you will choose for them – then you choose that book if they cannot choose.
✨ Offer the boundaries and follow through with lots of warmth & nurturance. Boundaries without warmth are militant. Nurturance allows us to connect while we hold limits.
✨ Validate their feelings all the way through, such as it being okay that they don’t want to go to bed, and offer the “yes” of what you can do together tomorrow.

Here are some other tips to help with the stalling:
✨ Add in the items they often stall with, like wanting a drink or another hug, into the bedtime routine.
✨ Use a visual chart to show their bedtime routine steps.
✨ Offer them choices, like which pyjamas to wear or what book to read. If they don’t choose from what you offer, you choose for them & confidently move to the next step of the routine.
✨ Let them know when it’s the last chance to do something, like have their last bathroom trip.
✨ Give them a bedtime pass they can use it to leave their bed once in the night.

Questions about how to do this? COMMENT to ask me!

I will also say – even with great boundaries, young kids can still push those limits & assert their independence. It’s our job to hold the boundaries that feel important, while we meet their emotional needs.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #bigkids

Incoming tips on boundaries about your child’s sleep (and other aspects of parenting too) ⬇️ (SAVE 💌 for when you need these)

Extended family members and even friends may have ideas for your child’s sleep, particularly around the holiday season when there are special events to attend that may not align with your little one’s sleep schedule and/or in places your little one doesn’t normally sleep. They may share those ideas, even unsolicited, with you.

✨ Know that you get to decide what works for your family. If you sacrifice some or all of an event for your child’s sleep, that’s okay. If you sacrifice sleep for an event, that’s okay too. ✨

If people share ideas about you should be handling sleep and you don’t want to hear them, you can set boundaries by letting them know you have your child’s sleep under control and are making the best decisions for your family. Here are some possible responses you may find fit:

✨ This is what works best for our family.
✨ This is what we’ve found gets him and us the most sleep.
✨ Thanks for sharing your idea. It’s not for us, but that’s great if it works for you.
✨ We prioritize sleep in our family, so this is what we’re doing.
✨ If you’d like to take her overnight after this sleep is missed, you’re welcome to! (Just kidding on this spicy one 😅😆).

After any of those responses, if they keep going, you may have to repeat yourself and/or follow up with something like: ✨ “Please don’t bring this up with me again.” ✨ or ✨” I’m not willing to talk about that.” ✨ Then change the topic to something you do want to talk with them about!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

We’re out here convincing ourselves we can do it! Why do the holidays feel like a hamster wheel and how do we get off the ride?

The holiday season as a parent of young kids, especially if celebrate Christmas, can feel like such a blur. There are so many activities, events, concerts, Advent things, Elf hijinks, etc.

Trying to also ensure kids get sleep when this is all going on can feel impossible. Well, I’m here to relieve that burden! Offer sleep as best as you can, try to have catch up days that are less busy and have more opportunities for sleep, and know that your kids can catch up when you decide to sacrifice sleep for memories. And if you decide you want to prioritize sleep at different points in the holiday season, that’s okay too.

✨ You are the parent and you get to decide what feels best for your family ✨
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s how to survive the holiday hangovers ⤵️ (and no, I don’t actually mean to avoid your children)

Holidays and other special occasions can be lots of fun and can be hard too. From overstimulation to change of routine and overtiredness, these special days can throw little ones off. Here’s some ways to help them can get through the days after special days?

✨ Expect that they will likely struggle to regulating their emotions and managing their behaviors, and so will need extra help.
✨ Regulate your own nervous system so you can co-regulate with your kids.
✨ Give them extra support around sleep if they are struggling, such as holding them longer and/or assisting them to sleep.
✨ Allow extra time for transitions, such as leaving the house.
✨ Validate your kids’ big feelings and hold boundaries around behaviors that aren’t okay.
✨ Look at cute pictures and videos of your kids from the day before if you need help reorienting your feelings toward them.
✨ Use early bedtime if needed to catch up on sleep.
✨ Have grace for your kids and yourself as you all recover.

These special days to make memories can be totally worth it! Setting ourselves and our kids up well to recover can help make it so.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

🍂 Comment BLOG for tips on handling your kiddo’s sleep for the upcoming time change when Daylight Savings Time ends. You & your little one(s) can get through it!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

💌 Comment BLOG for tips on handling sleep with illness.

🍂 Who needs pumpkins & candles when you have cold medicine – am I right? 🫠

🦠 Tis’ the season of all kinds of germs. But we can get through it!
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Want a way to guarantee your baby sleeps poorly? Make plans!

I’m mostly kidding but man, it can totally feel like they have a sixth sense about this sometimes and don’t sleep well when we would really like them to.

And know that if you planned to go out but they didn’t sleep well, you can still do it! Go out, make the memories, have fun. You can sacrifice some sleep for experiences and catch up with the sleep the next day.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

COMMENT to tell me: What is the scariest thing from this list for you? What would you add?
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Do you do anything you need to be okay? Do you make space to take care of yourself? Not just so you can show up for your kids as the parent you want to be (although this is absolutely important), but also because you matter just for being you?

Let me say that again:
✨ You matter, just for being you ✨

You are worthy of care, just like your kids are. One example of self-care can be getting enough sleep. If you are well-rested, you’ll likely be more patient, understanding, and present with your babies - which can help you then meet their needs! And sometimes getting there involves improving your little one’s sleep first, which is why I’m here.

COMMENT to share a way you take or plan to take care of yourself so we can support each other and maybe find some ideas we haven’t thought of yet.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

Here’s the real news ⤵️

WWs are not evidence-based! They are anecdotal, not scientific. (In case you didn’t know, a wake window is the length of time a baby is awake between sleep times.) So there is no “exact” wake window that a baby or child should have. We have general ranges, but what works for one baby may not work for another. So instead of following “rules” you see online about wake windows, you can use trial and error to find what works for your baby.

Rather than changing a WW based on age, change it when you see the baby’s sleep showing they need it – like having more wakes and shorter naps, when they were previously sleeping well.

Some babies do well with a long WW before bed and some do not. Sleep pressure (our bodies’ biological drive to sleep) is also cumulative, where it builds through the day. So as long as a child was awake for long enough through the whole day, they should be able to fall asleep well at bedtime (assuming all other pieces of their sleep puzzle are already in place, like routines and environment). It’s about what your baby needs to fall asleep at bedtime.

There is no real rule about WWs in the day being the same length. They are usually close in a range, like 2-2.5 hours and 3-4 hours, but they do not have to be identical. It’s about what timing your baby needs to sleep well – not what the internet says they need.

And if WWs don’t help you and/or cause anxiety for you, you don’t have to use them!

PSA: You cannot spoil a baby!

Babies are wired to be close to us. Physical nurturing is an important part of a baby development well and it can contribute to building secure attachment between parents and children.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t work on having your baby sleep in their crib and/or having them fall asleep independently. What it does mean is that it is okay for you to hold your baby for sleep!

And sleep is not all or nothing. You can absolutely hold your baby while they sleep sometimes and have them sleep in their crib other times!

And we all benefit from supporting each other, so let’s encourage moms to do what works for them – instead of trying to shame them into changing behavior.
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#psychology #yyc #yycpsychologist #therapist #yycmoms #yeg #yegmoms #yql #sleep #sleepexpert #sleepdeprived #sleeptraining #babysleep #toddlersleep #motherhood #momlife #dadlife #parenting #parents #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #babiesofinstagram #babies #bigkid #gentleparenting

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Let's Stay Connected

Sammy would like to acknowledge that she lives, works, and dreams on the traditional territories of the people of the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta, which includes the Blackfoot Confederacy (including the Siksika, Piikani, and Kainai First Nations), the Tsuut’ina First Nation, and the Stoney Nakoda (including the Chiniki, Bearspaw, and Wesley First Nations). Southern Alberta is also home to the Métis Nation of Alberta, Region 3.

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Enjoy the Merritts of Sleep

Hi, I’m Sammy Merritt

SLEEP ISSUES I ADDRESS

Assisting the child to sleep when it feels unsustainable for parents

Bedtime struggles

Night wakings

Short or non-existent naps

Early morning wakings

Nightmares

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Let's Stay Connected

Sammy Merritt is a Registered Psychologist, licensed by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP #4547).

SLEEP ISSUES
I ADDRESS